
The grapple rules are some of the most painfully complex and confusing rules in D&D. That's why we don't use them.
Jane: Any spell you may try to cast, I may counterspell.
Captain Obvious: Ah, but you are a mere caster.
Captain Obvious: I initiate a grapple attempt!
Jane: Sorry? A what?
Captain Obvious: I have succeeded on a melee touch attack, and am now grappling. I have a cape which is red and says CO on it.
Captain Obvious: I am damaging my opponent as with an unarmed strike as detailed in the grapple rules!
Jane: Since when does D&D have grapple rules?
Captain Obvious: D&D's always had grapple rules. They're in the core rulebooks.
Jane: Huh.
Jane: My DM always said the grapple rules came in an extra sourcebook. And refused to purchase it. They've been core all this time?
Captain Obvious: Yep. He may have been justified in not using them, though.
Sign reads: Enervation is the magic spell I am casting, which is a magic spell and is magical.
Captain Obvious: Enervation is the magic spell I am casting, which is a magic spell and is magical! You can't counterspell since you're still in the prone position! I have a cape which is red and says CO on it!
Same sign.
I too enjoy more colour than in available in ythe desaturation zone.
I deem this snicker worthy, either the sound of the candy bar, your choice.